


The best revenge is living well. The second best revenge is fire ants.

by puzzle_shipper



Category: Naruto
Genre: Everyone lives, Fluff and Humor, M/M, don't mess with kawa. he has fire ants, no one present is in danger of fire ants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-24 01:58:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17695442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puzzle_shipper/pseuds/puzzle_shipper
Summary: Hell hath no fire ants like the ones Kawarama has.





	The best revenge is living well. The second best revenge is fire ants.

**Author's Note:**

> you ever just find a wip that's actually done but you forgot about it?
> 
> Kawa and Kagami are of similar ages because i say so (and canon said nothing so we ignore it.)  
> Wanted to add a little izuita cameo as well but *shrug* Assume they also booked it to somewhere.
> 
> also yes, I’m definitely promoting the kagami/kawarama pool noodle with this :D  
> Its set in a happy au where no one dies.

Tobirama crossed the door to the household just in time to hear the end of Kawarama’s sentence.   
“-say ‘The best revenge is living well. And the second best revenge is fire ants.” Kawarama stated, waving around a scarf, which he then wrapped around Kagami.

“See, I told you you’d look wonderful with it!” he beamed, previous topic completely forgotten. Or, not really.   
“It’s not filled with fire ants right?” asked Kagami jokingly as he eyed the scarf. It was a pretty dark blue, with red and green triangular patterns depicting trees and fans. It was very soft to the touch.

“Of course not!” Kawarama scoffed and stared at him aghast, “I would never inflict fire ants on you!”

“I know you wouldn’t.” Kagami smiled and gave him a small kiss.

 

Tobirama cleared his throat to get their attention, while mentally he was going over his emergency plans. He had a prepared and signed leave letter, he had one for Madara too, so if they left by dinner time today, they would be-

“Tobes!” greeted him Kawarama grinning. “Tell him he looks great with the scarf I got him.”

“Kagami, you look great with the scarf my brother got you.” he said automatically but also, because it was true. “I’m here to return that scroll you lent me.” he continued smoothly, while Kagami stuttered out a thank you.

Kawarama watched in amusement. Kagami’s past crush on Tobirama was completely understandable of course. They Senju were just irresistible! Then of course was the fact that Kagami had later developed a crush on Kawarama, fact which always made him grin stupidly.

Kagami lightly punched his arm.   
“Ouch” Kawarama mock gasped “I didn’t even say it out-loud this time.”   
“You were most definitely thinking it.” replied Kagami, face red from embarrassment. Damn those irresistible Senju.

“But babe! You had a crush on me, that’s so embarrassing!” he teased.   
“Of course I had a crush on you! And we’re married now!” Kagami attempted to regain his composure.   
“I know!” he beamed at him again and gave him a quick peck on the lips. Just to see him blush again.

 

Tobirama shook his head at their antics, left the scroll he came over to deliver on the table and bid them farewell.

He had to be out of the village as soon as possible. He did not want to deal with this at all. It was very likely that, unlike last time, no one would connect the sudden infestation of fire ants at the house/work of whoever had wronged Kawarama deeply, with Kawarama himself. Because if anything, Kawarama readily learned from his past mistakes.

Other people might think this unsettling, but Tobirama was very proud of him. And he told him so, when he was sure this wasn’t going to result in another ‘creation of more things that make fire’ attempt. Which ended in fire, as Kawarama wanted.

No, he decided. It was Hashirama’s turn to deal with any mess that might come out of this.

So for now all he had to do was collect Madara, drop the leave papers on his brother’s desk and-   
A yell “go west” was heard from Kawarama as Tobirama quickly closed the door and briskly walked away.   
And figure out if he should follow his brother’s advice. No. best not got in any direction Kawarama had mentioned.

 

He mentally went over all the places Kawarama might have visited in the past few months, as he made his way to his and Madara’s house. He paused by the door and tilted his head to the side in thought.

A very rude “What now” from his grumpy husband startled him from his thoughts. He had, however, the general location they were to avoid on their trip.

“We have to leave right now.” he spoke with no preamble.

“Ugh.” Madara rubbed his hands on his face.   
“It will be like a vacation?” Tobirama offered to stall further grumbling.

And Madara did brighten at that. But then he narrowed his eyes at Tobirama suspiciously.   
“How long?” he demanded and placed his hands on his hips impatiently.   
“It will be definitely an unplanned vacation.” Tobirama corrected himself quickly, “Two weeks at least.”

They were wasting time on this, he thought, they had to leave before he was roped into being responsible for this. Hashirama was very good at weaseling out of responsibility when Tobirama was around. He was not giving him that opportunity again. He was the one that had introduced fire ants to Kawarama. It was his responsibility damn it.

Madara nodded with a thoughtful expression.

“When do we leave?” he asked as he moved to the side so Tobirama could enter their home.

“Now.” replied Tobirama after he closed the door. He took a whiff of the air inside. Madara had already prepared dinner. It was fish and smelled absolutely divine. Tobirama swallowed unconsciously.   
“Perhaps it can wait after dinner.” he allowed and looked at Madara hopefully.   
Madara snorted in amusement.   
“Well, I was going to protest about that, seeing as I made your most favorite dish today” he smirked at him.

Despite the overwhelming need to get out of the village and be as far away as he could, he smiled affectionately at Madara.


End file.
